ALICIA RETURNS TO SMALLVILLE FOR CLARK

Claiming to be cured, Alicia is released from Belle Reve hospital and comes to Smallville to rekindle her relationship with Clark. Initially skeptical of Alicia, Clark finds himself enjoying a relationship with someone who knows his secret, but when she pushes for more he hesitiates, causing her to use red kryptonite on him. "Bad Clark" emerges and whisks Alicia off to get married in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, Lana decides to have sex with Jason in order to win him back.

Michael Rosenbaum, Allison Mack, John Glover, Annette O'Toole and John Schneider also star. Greg Beeman directed the episode written by Jeph Loeb & Steven DeKnight

Despite their horrific past, Clark is willing to give it another shot with KentFan, mostly because she's hot and looks good in white lingerie, but also because she knows his secret and hasn't told anyone. She's not even pissed off that he once threw lead paint at her. She makes him feel...special. In his pants.

Evil Peter Horton, who had told KentFan that she was cured, turns out to be a lech. He only released KentFan from Belle Reve because he wanted to date her. Feeling the walls closing in, KentFan asks Clark to come with her to California. Maybe they'll hang with Seth Cohen. Clark resists, so she outfits him with a red Kryptonite necklace that turns him into an even hornier Clark -- one who just wants to get his freak on even if it means teleporting to Las Vegas to get married. So now Clark is Nick Lachey?

They go to Vegas and indeed get married in a crappy quickie chapel. But KentFan wants to get de-virginized by the real Clark, so she takes off his necklace. Clark suddenly reverts to blue ballin' and misses losing his own virginity by, literally, a hair. The doctor comes a-callin' and, in a needless plot twist, pulls a gun on Clark. KentFan takes the bullet to prove she's devoted to Clark, and then she's in the hospital, then Clark is hugging her in the barn and...well, she's a hell of a lot better than Lana in the barn, at least. Also? MamaKent is PISSED! Don't be pissin' on the sanctity of marriage and let your mom find out, idiot.

In an unrelated (but similarly sex-filled) plot thread, Lana thinks that Jason will come back to her if she wears a huge shirt and lights candles and gives up the kitty. Turns out Jason broke up with her because of his mom, which we already knew. No kitty necessary. We also find out that Chloe lost her virginity to a journalist named "Jimmy" while she was interning in Metropolis (wooo!), and Lex lets Papa Luthor stay in the guest house when he continues on his saintly streak. And finally, there's a PSA at the end letting you know that if you're thinking about sex, you'd better think about pregnancy. Not while you're having it. Preferably before.

Meanwhile, Lana goes to visit Jason on campus but he still doesn't think she's ready for their relationship to continue. And Lionel visits Lex and confesses his miraculous transformation – Lex isn't buying it.

Alicia returns to visit Clark and when he still doesn't go with her, she puts the red kryptonite on him (in the form of a necklace). While they end up in bed, Lana goes to Chloe to confess her problem and Chloe advises her to do it with someone special. Red Clark offers to marry Alicia and takes her to Las Vegas, removing her bracelet. They're married and off to the honeymoon suite, while Lana offers herself to Jason. Jason stops her and tells Lana the real reason behind his hesitation – that he believes his mother is responsible.

Back in Las Vegas, Alicia removes the necklace so she can have "all of him" and Clark is taken aback – Alicia leaves before he can stop her. McBride confronts Clark and shoots him to eliminate the competition – Alicia shows up and confesses her love for Clark, and McBridge shoots Clark – Alicia teleports to intercept the bullet and Clark takes her to the hospital. They share a moment but Clark leaves the lead bracelet. Lex calls for a meeting with Lionel and invites him to stay at the manor.

Dealing with his parents' disappointment in him, Clark and Alicia talk after she voluntarily dons the bracelet. She still has feelings with him and he asks her to stay.

Alicia: I'm surprised you remembered my name.
Clark: How could I? You tried to kill me - and lana.

Alicia (to Clark): In my darkest moment, you gave me hope Clark.

Alicia (to Clark): You might be impervious to the cold, but I'm turning into a popsicle.

Dr. McBride (to Alicia): Stop seeing Clark Kent before someone gets hurt.

Lionel: Corporate maneuvering doesn't interest me anymore.
Lex: So what, trying to kill me is going to be a full time job?

Lana: Does everybody think...?
Chloe: Lana, you were alone with him for three months in Paris.

Chloe (to Lana): His name was Jimmy. He was cute in a bowtie kind of way.

Alicia: I want this to last forever.
Clark: I'm not sure thats one of my abilities, but I'll do my best.

Alicia: I'm a virgin.
Clark: That's great. So am I.

Lana: There's no good reason why we shouldn't be together.
Jason: Not that I wouldn't love for this to happen, but it can't. Not like this.

Lana (to Jason): Whatever's going on, that doesn't change the way I feel about you.

Alicia (to Clark): I don't think red kryptonite makes you do anything you don't want to do.

Clark: Maybe Clark Kent made a mistake.
Alicia: No. I did.

Dr. McBride (to Clark): They don't send kids like you to jail. They send them to Belle Reve - with me.

Clark: Alicia why'd you do that. You know I could've stopped that bullet.
Alicia: Because I promised you I would always keep your secret.

Clark: I wanted you with or without that rock.
Alicia: Past tense noted.

Lex (to Lionel): You know I've got to hand it to you Dad. When you throw yourself into a role, you really commit.

Clark (to Martha): She makes me feel normal and special at the same time.

Alica (to Clark): For as long as I live, I'm never going to reveal your secret... I love you.

The WB advertised this episode as "Mr. & Mrs. Clark Kent."

There's a PSA at the end featuring Chloe talking about the importance of safe sex and where to find information.

Spoilers:
A teen (Sarah Carter) with teleportation abilities who was obsessed with Clark is released from the Belle Reve asylum and tracks him down. Though apparently reformed, she manipulates Clark's feelings for her using red kryptonite. Meanwhile, Lionel tries to convince Lex that he's a changed man; and Lana confronts Jason about the breakup.

Lionel is creating a new charity to help the poor, the abused, and the hungry. Lex doesn't believe Lionel has miraculously changed. It seems that Lana and Jason haven't seen each other in a while or that something happened between them. Lana visits him at Central Kansas A & M. Jason is with two frat boys. Chloe and Lana talk about making love for the first time. Lana says she always thought it would be Clark. Chloe tells her to make sure Jason is the one she wants to remember forever. Alicia and Kal-El (Clark's bad side) visit Las Vegas... remember they are in Sin City...